1. Intensity Matters
ABA programs vary in intensity—some require 20–40 hours a week. This can be exhausting for both child and family. While consistent practice is important, it’s also critical to balance therapy with play, rest, and family time.
Never make a child work when they’re sick. Pushing a child to participate when they’re unwell can:
- Increase stress and frustration for both the child and therapist
- Reduce the effectiveness of therapy because the child isn’t able to focus
- Create negative associations with therapy, making future sessions more difficult
- Impact overall health and recovery, leading to longer absences in the long run
Therapy is most effective when the child is well-rested, comfortable, and able to engage, so always prioritize their wellbeing over strict schedules or hours.
2. Not All Programs Are Equal
The quality of ABA therapy depends heavily on the training, supervision, and philosophy of the team. Some programs emphasize rigid repetition or forcing compliance, which isn’t aligned with neurodiversity-affirming practices. The most effective programs teach skills that empower the child, focusing on independence, communication, and safety.
3. What ABA Does Best – and Its Limitations
ABA is particularly powerful for teaching discrete, functional skills that directly impact safety and independence, such as:
- Functional communication: teaching children to request, reject, or comment
- Safety skills: teaching children who elope to stop at curbs or wait for an adult before crossing streets
- Self-care and daily living skills: dressing, toileting, feeding, hygiene
- Behavioral regulation: replacing unsafe behaviors with functional alternatives
- Structured social routines: turn-taking or following directions in group settings
However, ABA is not always sufficient for complex communication needs, particularly for children with apraxia or motor planning difficulties. Many nonspeaking children who later became spellers or used systems like S2C (Spelling to Communicate) report that their brains don’t always connect efficiently with their mouths or bodies. For these students, programs that only target pre-kindergarten goals—like “touch the triangle” or “show me the black dog”—even when they are approaching middle school age, fail to support meaningful communication or independence.
This highlights the importance of:
- Collaboration with SLPs who specialize in apraxia, AAC, or nonspeaking communication
- Ensuring goals are age-appropriate and functional, not just rote or repetitive
- Advocating for personalized learning targets that reflect the child’s cognitive, motor, and communication abilities. ABA can be an effective tool, but without integration with specialized speech or communication supports, it risks keeping students stuck in goals far below their potential.
4. Collaboration Is Key
ABA works best when integrated with other therapies—speech-language therapy, occupational therapy, and social skills programs. Parents should advocate for a coordinated approach to avoid overloading the child and ensure goals complement each other.
5. Goals Should Be Purposeful and Functional
Every ABA goal should have meaning for the child’s life. Instead of emphasizing obedience, goals should focus on functional skills that increase independence, safety, and quality of life. Teaching a child to cross a street safely or wait for an adult before leaving a room is a skill that can be life-saving.
6. Progress Is Not Linear
ABA can produce amazing results, but there will be plateaus and setbacks. Celebrating small wins, tracking progress, and adjusting strategies is essential. Parents need patience, realistic expectations, and ongoing communication with the therapy team.
7. Family Stress Is Real
ABA can be intensive for parents, especially when it involves carrying over techniques at home. Without adequate support, families risk burnout. Finding a program that respects parental capacity and includes caregiver coaching rather than expecting parents to become full-time therapists is crucial.
Final Thought
Many people argue that ABA can never be truly neurodiversity-affirming—and I understand why. When ABA is implemented rigidly, focusing solely on compliance, repetition, or forcing “typical” behavior, it can feel controlling or demeaning. But when ABA is applied with a focus on functional, life-enhancing skills, it has a legitimate place in supporting children’s growth.
ABA can teach communication, safety, daily living, and self-regulation skills in ways that other therapies may not systematically address. It can be a tool for empowerment rather than conformity—especially when goals are age-appropriate, meaningful, and individualized, and when therapy is collaborative with SLPs and other specialists.
Neurodiversity-affirming ABA doesn’t aim to make a child “normal”—it aims to provide the skills they need to navigate the world safely, communicate effectively, and participate in daily life with confidence. When approached this way, ABA can complement other therapies, respect individuality, and truly enhance a child’s independence and wellbeing.